My brain is tired; my mind has over-thought itself into possible oblivion. How do I know this? Well, for one I typed and deleted the non-word thinked in place of “thought” in the previous sentence at least twice just now. I did realize something wasn’t right with the sentence because I kept trying to justify the linguistic exactitude of the word by making up sentences with the past tense of think in them.
“I thinked about this problem and could come up with no solution.”
“I thinked about you yesterday.”
“I thinked she was a brilliant pianist.”
I understand how anyone reading this may be appalled by this lack of basic grammatical knowledge, especially coming from someone who claims to have a slightly better than average understanding of the English language.
But at this point of mental saturation, my brain (always thinking outside its little box, that little genius) offered me just that and another non-word, thunk. So you can see why I went with the less preposterous (but still offensive) thinked.
I actually cursed the efficiency of MS Word’s spellcheck because they kept underlining my thinkeds in red, indicating a spelling error. They’re still doing it, but the difference between now and five minutes ago is that my ‘errors’ are deliberate.
I could also tell you about the two separate occasions where I used be’d instead of was in a conversation but just in case any English school teachers are reading this post, I’m gonna spare you folks the coronary.
In my absolutely poor-on-account-of–being-so-tired-I-can’t-think-straight-let-alone-smart defense, it’s 3.30 AM in the morning. The fact that the worst thing I’m doing right now is badly conjugating a verb should be of some comfort to you, O English school teacher brave enough to still be reading this eyesore of a post. I know of some kids who’re up to bigger acts of blasphemy, and who knows, you probably teach a couple of them!
Okay, so, Confession Time. When I’d originally started off with that opening line about my mind currently
is being in such a sorry state, I’d intended to steer it in the direction of the topic I really had in mind: how being smitten by someone can really mess with your head and turn into a schmaltzy slush.
I know romanticism is a theme endemic to my blog, and everyone’s probably tired of reading the same old crap, but doesn’t it fascinate you that when you excessively like someone everything you do suddenly seems at the mercy of that person? I mean, it starts off with the songs you listen to. Suddenly you start hearing certain lyrics more distinctly than others. For example, “I’m so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest,” suddenly holds appeal to me, and not just because singing about chest hair cracks me up every time I do it.
Then it’s the movies you watch. You begin relating situations in them to your own life, more specifically moments in your life involving that person. You know what I’m talking about. They’re mostly scenes in movies that make your heart sigh, but you’re too jaded to admit it. However, you know you’re really far gone when you are even able to relate to an action movie about a married couple who’re secretly assassins hired by competing agencies to kill each other. Either that, or your relationship with your person of interest obviously needs help.
If you’re recognizing the symptoms of mild obsession and are afraid, don’t be…yet.
It’s only when you can distinguish said person’s laugh from everyone else’s in a fairly noisy classroom, or when you make a subconscious mental note of his/her facial expressions, or when the outcome of your entire day depends on whether the two of you engage in uh, casual…er, conversation (what did you think I was going to say, you dirty English school teacher?) or not, or when the only difference between your dreams and reality is the act of waking up, that’s how strongly your thoughts are laced with well, him, that you should be really, really afraid.
I mean, let’s face it: you might as well be under the Imperius Curse.